Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Have you ever felt like you don't fit in?

I went to a "Soup Group" today. It was the second one they've held. I felf uncomfortable at the first one, but enjoyed the concept, so I thought I would go again. There were less people and I felt even more out of place! I am the only "stay at home" mom there who doesn't have any kids at home! I'm not sure why they don't feel like I know what they're going through. I do have 4 children! They youngest is 7....it hasn't been THAT long! And so when I feel uncomfortable...I eat! If you eat, you don't have to to talk. So I had 3 rolls and 2 bowls of soup. Now I feel like I've blown it for the rest of the day and am disappointed in myself. I have to run a Half Marathon in 2 days and I feel so FAT right now that mentally I don't even feel I could run a MILE!

I've decided to quit going to the soup group. It's not worth it. I'm lonely, but I don't want to go feel awkward around a bunch of women, eat too much, and come home feeling worthless. This is when I think it would be nice to live in a bigger place that actually had a variety of different situations and people. When you live in a small town...there's not much choice.
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1 comment:

  1. H.K.April 17, 2009 at 11:43 AM

    I can't tell you how much I know what you're going thru, since I'm going thru the same thing too!

    I'm also the only stay at home mom with no kids at home during the day and with only one child. Being the new gal in town it does get really lonely. I've made a few friends, but they're not like my good friends in my old hometown. And I attended a church book club and only went there once. It felt awkward every one talking about going to the movies and I wasn't invited!

    I've been feeling alot better the past few days because I just focus on exercising at the gym (which gets me out of the house) and blogging which helps my creative side.

    I am sure that I haven't been able to lose the last 20 lbs because of the loneliness that I was feeling.

    Sorry for the long post and I'm sending you lots of warm hugs across cyberspace that you are able to do well at the half marathon!

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